About Me

In March 2009 I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy - Heart Failure. Within two months, it progressed to end-stage. In August 2009 I had a Left Ventricular Assist Device (LVAD) implanted to help my heart pump blood. Then in December I was placed on the heart transplant list. On January 11, 2010 a heart became available for me and I was taken to the operating room. While on the table, the surgeons found that my own heart had began to heal. I didn't get that transplant and subsequently had my LVAD removed in September 2010. Today, I have a new appreciation for life and am learning to take each day one step at a time.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Stories

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes. I can truly say it was the best birthday of my life, because I made it to it. :-) There is an appreciation that comes with each day for me. I was just thinking how through my illness, there were several mornings I woke and had to tell myself, "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." Now I wake up every morning rejoicing! ... Ok, maybe not EVERY morning. LOL!

Thank you to each of you who has shared my story. It is so awesome and humbling to be a part of God's blessing. As friends and family have visited and called, they have been telling me stories of how it touched their lives or how they found out, or that we knew someone in common. If you have a story to tell, I would LOVE to hear it. PLEASE leave a comment to this post (you can do it anonymously if you don't have an account) and let us all share the blessings together.

Thursday I have an appointment with the cardiologist. I believe she will be doubling my heart meds. It will make for a difficult weekend, but my body seems to be adjusting to the meds and I feel a little better every day. In fact, this weekend I was able to sit through a movie and yesterday my father-in-law had surgery, and I was able to sit at the hospital all day (well, at least I wasn't IN the hospital LOL).

Also, I have found a new excitement in my heart as my family keeps growing. Sunday I got to finally see my new nephew (my sister adopted a baby boy from China). Friday my sister will be having another little boy. And to top it off, we just found out that my little sister is expecting a little bundle later this year as well. You can't imagine my joy that I will get to share in their lives!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Home Sweet Home

It feels amazing to be back in my own home... and bed! :-) Yesterday we were finally released from the hospital. They have put me on a higher dose of the heart meds and turned my pump speed in hopes that my passing out episodes will be decreased. They are still not sure why I am passing out, but they are not too worried since I have a defibrilator in my chest that will "shock" me if anything goes too far. Is that supposed to make me feel better?? LOL

The excitement of God's miracle of healing has not lessened. Thank you to each of you who has told my story. All glory be to Him. We are so thankful and excited to see what He has in store for me. This is an excerpt from my reading this morning, " In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power to him forever!" 1 Peter 5:10-11 Often times, the restoration comes in a spiritual and emotional form, but for me, He gave me physical restoration as well. I am so humbled by His gift and that I was able to be a part of His work. Of course, I wish the suffering wouldn't have been so tough, but you can't fault a girl for not wanting to be a hospital regular. LOL I love that God chose to heal me in a way that did not enable to doctors to take any credit. I wasn't on heart meds (beta blockers) and I had JUST had a heart test done a week prior to the not-transplant that said my heart function was 20%. I choose to believe God healed me on the table! How awesome is that!!!

Being home is great! And a little tiring. LOL Or it might be the new meds and pump speed that are wearing me out. Either way, I am going to try to get a ton of rest this week. However, my friends and little sister are taking me out this weekend for my birthday, my brother-in-law is bringing home my new nephew from China, and a dear friend is being baptized. It will be a little busy. But I will wear a smile because I am so thankful to be home and able to be a part of the many lives that have walked my struggle with me. I can't say thank you enough for how wonderful and dear to me each of you have been.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rejoicing

"I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 11:19

There has been so much rejoicing and praising of God here in the hospital this week. By now you probably know that although we thought God was blessing us with the miracle of a heart transplant, He blessed us with so much more. Isn't it just like our loving God to take a miracle and make it so much better. I am so humbled to be a part of His amazing grace and mercy.

As you can imagine, the doctors and staff are stunned. Although they can't figure it out, I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able! My sister likened it to Jacob having to put Isaac on the altar and holding the knife before God stepped in and took away the sacrifice. He is so good.

As you can imagine, it has been a roller coaster of a ride. One that has forever changed our hearts and lives. We are also in awe of how bathed in prayers we have been and are certain that it is because of each one of your prayers that we have been healed!

So, the doctors' plans are to put me on heart medication (if you can believe it, I was not on any heart medicine because the cardiologist had told me there was no way that my heart would get better so there was no reason to take it). Then in a few weeks they are going to start turning down my pump and doing stress tests to see how my heart handles it. If all goes as well as they think it will, they are planning to take the pump out in about 6 weeks. It will be the first time at OSU that they will take OUT a pump!! So exciting.

It is so difficult to put into writing what we have been a part of. We are so humbled and excited. Thank you to everyone who has prayed and sent encouragement. We are rejoicing with you!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Monday, January 11, 2010

HUGE UPDATE (from Ray)

The surgeon and anesthesiologist visited with the family about 1/2 hour ago, and had some amazing news. Before they even made an incision, the docs did a TEE (an echocardiogram from the esophagus) and virtually cut off all mechanical support, and her heart looks nearly normal!!! They're going to do some studies to see if they can wean her off the LVAD, then we'll see! The surgeon in charge said that her heart isn't "stone cold normal," but it's WAY better than it was 10 months ago!

This obviously means that no transplant occurred and no cutting occurred (other than a Swan catheter insertion). We'll talk to her when she wakes up and go from there. If the studies are positive, she'll have the LVAD removed!

Thank you for your prayers and support!!!

UPDATE (from Ray)

Missy went in to pre-op around 8:30pm. Now we wait...

THE DAY WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR (from Ray)

Missy called me at work about an hour ago to let me know that SHE'S GETTING A HEART TODAY! As you can imagine, lots of emotions are flowing, lots of family and friends have already arrived, and more are on their way. I'll keep updating the blog and Facebook throughout the day today and this evening, so keep an eye out.

The surgery won't happen for a while, probably later this afternoon/this evening, and it's supposed to last between 6-10 hours. Keep praying!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Well Taken Care Of

Well, we had a bumpy weekend with the code on Saturday. My doctors think that since I am bleeding again, my pump emptied my heart of blood a little too quickly and it sent my heart into a morbid rhythm (vtach). I am doing well and seemed to have recovered quickly... although my husband, parents, and siblings still seem a little shaken up. Please remember that my loved ones are plodding through this illness with me and that they need your support as well. I really appreciate everyone who has called, sent cards, meals, visited, etc. to my family and friends.

I think in a previous post I had talked about how there were two neighbors here at the hospital that passed away over Christmas. Well, the staff here at OSU are so loving and caring and have been deeply touched by that loss. So, when I had my code on Saturday, the staff here really surrounded me and made me feel not only that they were watching over me, but that they really cared about me and would do whatever they possibly could to protect me. In fact, they haven't hardly left me alone since it happened. I cannot tell you what a blessing this staff has been for me. I only hope that in some way I can give back to them the warmness that they have given to me. Sometimes it is humiliating to be in the hospital and all sense of modesty and self-sufficiency goes out the window. However, the truly caring staff here at OSU have made me feel comfortable and have encouraged me to keep pushing myself to get better. Thank you to everyone at OSU who have become such a blessing in my life. I am back to being able to walk a mile a day. And the doctors are putting me on hormones to try to stop the bleeding. I will be here at the hospital for a while and am really praying that the "perfect" heart arrives soon. I am top of the list until Jan 15. :-)

Thank you to Mom, Dad, Mary & Harrison, Amy & Derek, Nikki & David, Tim, Lesley & Tracy, and Debbie who have all come to visit and made this hospital stay a little more bearable. Please continue to keep us and my nephew in your prayers.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

A not so happy start to the new year (from Ray)

So guess where I'm sitting this morning? You guessed it - THE HOSPITAL!

We came in yesterday morning for bleeding. Yep, Missy's been bleeing again, with lots of intense cramps in the mornings. Yesterday afternoon, I helped her to the restroom, and thank God for the shower chair. She sat down on the chair, then there was an alarm which turned out to be vtach, and she passed out. I had to catch her so her head wouldn't hit the wall and so she wouldn't fall on the floor. After I yelled for help (her nurse was right behind me and I didn't realize it), there were about 20 people milling about the room. Luckily, she came back and they didn't need to use the defibrilator, and the ICD didn't fire because the rythm wasn't bad enough for long enough.

Needless to say, we're a bit exhausted today, and Missy can't get out of bed for a while. We're both thinking they'll probably keep her until the transplant, which isn't unusual.

Keep praying friends!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year (Hopefully Better Than The Last)!

Prayers have been going up all day that this new year will be one of blessings and celebration; therefore, I'd like to give some great news to start the year off right.

My nephew was able to get off the breathing tube and is holding steady. My sister was finally able to hold and comfort him.



Also, my cousin is currently in the hospital welcoming the newest little "Jolly" into the family. I cannot wait to get better and be able to meet him.





My brother-in-law and niece will be flying to China this week to pick up the newest addition to our family. He is going to be such a blessing and he already has so much of our thoughts and love.



Stanley Lindquist stated, "God allows us to experience the low points in life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underneath them." This past year God has taught me so much about compassion. This illness has given me such a heart for those who are suffering. Many people my age are so busy with life, that we forget that people are carrying such tragic burdens. Also, we think our small burdens are so much heavier than they really are. What we need is a little perspective (although I wish the Lord could teach me lessons with a little less perspective LOL). My prayers and thoughts have changed drastically in the last year of my life. I thank God for showing me how much of a difference I can make to those in need.

Here's to wishing everyone a MUCH happier year!! :-)