Home In Time For Fall!!

YES WE ARE FINALLY HOME!!! :-)

Monday they released me from the hospital. My doctor (who is a realist and does not sugar coat anything for me) let me know that most of his patients end up back in the hospital within 2 weeks for something. He was trying to prepare me for a little disappointment I think. :-(

The first few days at home were extremely challenging and overwhelming. We had so much equipment and paperwork to sort through. But with the help of my Dad and incredible husband, we are finally starting to get settled. Ray has been so strong, supportive, and optimistic through this difficult time. I am so proud of him.

My pain has been incredibly rough at home as I am using muscles I haven't had to use in quite some time. Getting in and out of bed and chairs and cars has proven to be difficult and painful. My nurse was chastising me this morning that I need to take more pain medication and be patient and wait for healing.

Today, my Mom (with my Dad's help) decorated my house for fall. It is a true blessing and has lifted my spirits a little. There is such a comfort that a mother gives when you are facing such difficult times; and my mother seems to have wisdom and love beyond her years. My family and friends have been such an encouragement to me through this difficult time. I cannot say thank you enough to all of you who have sent kind words, visits, gifts, and especially prayers. Please keep them coming as I still have a long way to go... :-)

Still in Hospital...

Today is my 42nd day in the hospital. I am feeling a little blue today because I got my hopes up that I would be able to go home today; but sadly, my blood is still too thick (which causes a risk of blood clots in my heart pump). So, they are upping my blood thinners and will re-test my blood on Sunday morning to see if it is safe to go home. I was really disappointed and have found it hard to be in the hospital these last few days. But as my dear husband reminded me this morning, at least I am here for something so simple as my blood thinness and not for some complication or surgery. He is right and I am thankful that I am finally starting to really feel better after all the surgeries. I am so thankful for my recovery and will hopefully be able to go home Sunday.

I came across a verse that I have been reciting to myself a lot lately: "Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and the He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

This verse comforts me because it reminds me that if I keep living by faith, He will continue to watch over and guide me and my family and will reward us for our faithfulness to Him.

This weekend there is a benefit for a dear friend of mine's brother who is very ill. There is also a baby shower for one of my girlfriends from college. I want so desperately to be able to be there for my friends and share in these big events in their lives, but am limited by my hospital stay. Please know that my heart is with you and for all of my friends and family, I wish I could be there to be a part of your lives right now and am hoping to return very soon. I love you very much and appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers. I have been so encouraged by the many wonderful people in my life; thank you!

Surgery Went Well

The defibrillator surgery went well on Monday, thank you for all your prayers. It was a lot more pain than I was anticipating and recovery from the surgery has been tough. I have had quite a bit of pain the past several days; however, the nurses keep telling me how great everything looks, so that's encouraging.

They let my blood get a little thick for the surgery and it is taking a particularly long time to get it thin again. If it gets thin enough by Friday morning, they are going to let me go home! YEAH! If not, I will have to stay the weekend.

Before the surgery on Monday, I was feeling quite anxious and sad to be having yet another procedure. As I was laying on the operating table and they were prepping me for surgery, a dear friend of mine who has been praying for me came into the operating room. It was a little reminder to me from the Lord that He was there, even if I couldn't feel Him there. God has never abandoned me, but it was so comforting that He gave me a physical sign of that.

I am hanging in there... but this is my 40th day in the hospital and I am getting a little discouraged. But I am trying to stay positive and continue to trust that God has a plan to work all of this for good. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Surprise Party

Some good friends of mine had a jewelry party yesterday and donated some of the profits to me. It just so happened that I was able to use my second excursion to surprise them and show up at the party.

It was so much fun to see everyone. It really lifted my spirits and helped me feel like I may actually get back to a semi-normal life. :-) Thanks ladies for being so encouraging.

Well, I am still in the hospital (day 37 today). Tomorrow I will be having a defibrillator put in. (I know, by the time I get home, I will be the bionic woman... but at least I will be living.) The defibrillator (ICD) will help regulate my heartbeats. It will also shock my heart if it goes into an abnormal rhythm for several minutes. My heart has not done this, but it would be fatal if it did. So, the ICD will shock my heart if it needs it. When I asked if it would hurt me, the surgeon said, "It will feel like a small horse kicking you in the chest." Sorry I asked! LOL! But it will save my life.

The surgery will take about 2 hours. They will make a slit on my left side just above my heart. They will then make a pocket in my muscle and slip the ICD into it. They will take 2 wires and connect them into my heart and the ICD. Then, they will stitch me up. Next, they will force my heart into an abnormal rhythm so they can test the ICD and its shock.

The surgeon said after the surgery I will feel a little beat up, especially from the shock, but it shouldn't be too bad. I will have to ice the stitches for 2 days and be on light bed rest. After that, I CAN GO HOME!!!!

Please be in prayer for the surgery and for coming home. I am a little nervous about both and have been trying to just pray and trust God that His hand will be over both and that He will give me His strength and courage for yet another surgery. He has been so good to us this far and I believe He will continue to watch over us. And I cannot tell you how comforting and effective all of your prayers have been. We could not have gotten through this without the prayers of so many loved ones. THANK YOU!!!

SHOWER!!!!! :-)

Today I got to enjoy my first shower in 32 days. I can't tell you how great that feels! They are gong to do another echo cardiogram this afternoon, and if the results are good, they are going to let me go out for dinner tonight!! YEAH!

This weekend I was able to get off of all my IV medicines. So, if I can tolerate a beta blocker pill to help my heart regulate its beats, I can probably go home in a few days. Please keep those prayers coming.

Spending a holiday weekend in the hospital is no fun; however, I had some awesome company. My Mom, Dad, and husband were here faithfully as always (and they are always fun to have around), but my sister Nikki and her husband and four girls came, my sister Janie and her husband came twice (once with their two kids), Ray's parents came twice, and Ray's brother and his wife and two kids were in all weekend as well. Then today, I had a dear friend from work drop by (thanks Jimmy D). I can't tell you how much it lifts my spirits and helps pass the time to visit with such great friends and family. Thank you to everyone who has come or called. You have been true blessings to me.

Today is my 32nd day in the hospital. Some days it gets tough to keep positive and keep striving to encourage those around me. Then I look back on the dark journey we have had these past several months, and I can see the hand of God in so many blessings along the way. I have found that the cure for my blues really is to count my many blessings. See, some times I can't see God's hand in what I am going through, but once I get through it, I look back and see how He has provided and watched over me.

Another exciting thing that happened this weekend, was that some of the nurses asked me if I would talk to a young man down the hall who just got the heart pump that I have. They told me they thought I would be an excellent role model for him. I was truly touched. The man is only 22 and developed heart failure from the chemo he had to have for his leukemia. He is doing pretty well though and smiles bright when I stop to visit him. He also has a family like mine that is so supportive and loving. It is amazing that even just a few weeks after open heart surgery, I think God is beginning to use me again in big ways. And I want to be faithful!

Ray's parents gave me a book entitled "When Bad Things Happen" that has been a big encouragement to me lately. There is one quote in the book that I have been trying to meditate on quite a bit because I still have a lot of anxiety about going home, having to come back and have a defibrillator inserted, having more tests done, and knowing that I have ANOTHER open heart surgery in my near future. But with God's grace, I know I can be strong and continue to endure and heal. The quote:

FEAR AND DOUBT ARE CONQUERED BY A FAITH THAT REJOICES.

This Week's Adventures (from Ray)

We thought Missy would be going home soon, but her body just isn't liking being off the IV medication she's been needing and it also doesn't like the beta blocker her doctor's been trying. So, here we are for at least a few more days. After 27, what's a few more, right?

The big news from this week was that Missy got to go outside for the first time since she was transferred to OSU! The weather this week has been beautiful, and she stayed out for about an hour each time, walking both ways. Plus, last night, she took a 6-lap walk around the floor, which is about a 1/2 mile.

More big news: she is officially listed on the UNOS transplant list! She's at status 7, which means the bottom of the list and an inactive status, mostly because she just had surgery. We're glad the ball is rolling, but I'm sure the patience part will be very difficult.