Giving Thanks - Nov 8

Several years ago, after Ray and I had been married a few years, we got that longing in our hearts to start a family. We tried for years to get pregnant, tried hormones, tests, prayer, etc. I remember sitting in the car on the way to work one morning and praying, "Lord, I know you want to teach me something through this time of waiting; so go ahead. I am ready and willing and listening to anything you have to say to me, just hurry up so I can have a baby." Thinking back on that, all I can do is shake my head. Because although I didn't get pregnant (and can now never get pregnant) God heard my prayer. He answered my prayer by saying no. At the time, I had no idea that if He'd have answered my prayers, it would literally have killed me due to my failing heart.

Now, years later, Ray and I are still mourning not having children (I know, I know, this is supposed to be a post about thanksgiving - be patient, I am just giving some background into why I am so thankful). But as usual, God heard our prayers. He answered our hurting hearts by surrounding us with 20 nieces/nephews (so far) and several close friends. We are constantly encircled by crowds of little ones. We have a permanent stack of toys on our hearth for our little visitors. And I have been able to be a part of the families of my loved ones.  In fact, just yesterday I was rocking a newborn baby to sleep. (BTW I had to change his poopy diaper too. Now that's real life!) We are constantly taking trips to the zoo, fairs, playgrounds, parks, making cookies, playing games, and tons and tons of birthday parties.

Ray and I have found that we have been so blessed by all the little lives around us, and we are so very thankful for each one!

Giving Thanks - Nov 1

The idea of giving thanks after receiving a gift is a time-honored tradition in this month:

And who am I to break tradition. :-p Lately I have been trying to focus on all the things that I am thankful for, and at times I have been overwhelmed by the wonderful gifts in my life. So, this entire month I am going to try to write as often as I can about what I am thankful for... I hope you will do the same. (Notice I am not committing to every day. LOL)

As I was reflecting on November this morning and of course - THANKSGIVING - I couldn't help but think of Thanksgiving Day two years ago. I was in the hospital (and had been there for four months). Ray and I laid together in the hospital bed watching the Macy's Day parade, which is fun no matter where you are!! Then, another patient brought in lunch for the families in the hospital that day. What a treat! Then, the doctors came in and told me that although I had to promise to come back, they would allow me to leave and have dinner with my family. I remember it was 3:17 when I walked into my mom's house. My Mom, Dad, little sister Amy and hubby Derek, brother Tim, older sister Nikki and hubby Dave and four kids were all seated around the table. At first glance I felt sadness at the way life continues on after we are gone - but then I looked closer. Several of my loved ones were sad but they were trying to lighten the mood with conversation. And when Ray and I walked in and saw their faces, they began both crying and rejoicing that we were all together. (Where are those tissues?) See, they didn't forget us, they were trying to focus on the blessing they had of being able to be together, even if they were missing part of their family. And I truly cherished their attitudes that day that in the midst of trials, they could find joy. The Bible says, "Give thanks in ALL circumstances." I truly believe (and I know my family does as well) that there is good to be found at all times, even when we have to dig deep to find it. And if we can just keep that good at the center of our minds, we live in a constant state of not only gratitude, but joy.

Boy, some memories are hard to write... it's like living them again. But today, I am so thankful that I am sitting in my own chair, at my own computer, sharing my thoughts with you and not in the best hospital in the world!!! Thanks for listening.