How Much Is Too Much?

Tis the season for parties, time with family and friends, baking, shopping, cooking, etc.  Life can get a little hectic.  Although the memories and precious time with loved ones are good for the soul, the activity, stress and all around business are not good for the heart failure.  In the past two weeks, I have had half a dozen of my closest family and friends tell me that I am doing "too much."

This started an interesting chain of thought in my mind.  How much is too much?  My husband and I have been honored to meet several others in heart failure, along with a great group of friends that have LVADs or transplants.  I watch as these people live their lives and make the best of their illness.  Here are a few things I have learned:

1.  Idleness is not always your friend.  If you do not exercise your mind, you will lose it.  (Insert your own funny remark here.)  Also, if you sit around too much, your body will become stiff and you will notice all the aches and pains.  The more you sit around, the worse your body will feel.  So get out, take a walk, go to the gym, or play fatty-bat with your nieces and nephews and feel proud that you are taking care of your body.

2.  Depression can hit fast and hard.  I truly believe the reason heart patients experience depression so quickly is because they lose their sense of purpose.  This is especially hard for those of us that have given up our careers.  And the more we take it easy and quit doing things, the more we lose our sense of helping the world.  I know God has a plan for my life, but I feel unused when I am sitting around doing nothing.  I find myself reading, rereading, and then reciting the book "The Purpose Driven Life" to constantly remind myself of my purpose.  But I really enjoy volunteering and helping others.  So how do I find that line between fulfilling my purpose and not doing "too much?"

3.  You are what you eat.  If you knew the special characters in my support group, you would know that we end every session discussing food. :-p  When I first got sick, I knew nothing about low-sodium cooking.  In fact, I really didn't know much about cooking altogether.  But slowly I am learning how to flavor foods with various spices and herbs and we have thrown away the salt shaker.  I could post on and on about cooking; perhaps another day.  But what happens at the holidays is that everyone keeps giving my sweets.  Then we have parties where there are more sugary goodies.  Everywhere I go, people have baked these delicious things and it would be rude of me not to partake.  The problem is, how much is too much?  How many of these tasty treats can I have before my legs and abdomen start to swell from the salt (yes, there is quite a bit of salt in baked goods)?  How many calories can I eat before I pack on the pounds? :-)

4.  Rest comes in different forms.  Some people enjoy relaxing in different ways.  In the past few years I have learned that I don't hate books, I really do enjoy all types of music, there is such a thing as too much news, you don't have to feel bad about ripping out pages of a magazine that you like and throwing away the rest, and Sudoku is just so much more fun to play on paper with a pencil and not electronically.

So as you can see, there is a fine line between resting and rusting.  How do you draw the line??

Fat vs Obese

Last week in our LVAD/Transplant Support Group we were discussing how hard it is to lose weight and how much more difficult it is to not put on pounds at the holiday season.

We were all saying how difficult it is that our charts say we are "OBESE."  We came to the conclusion that we would much rather just be called fat.  There is something about the word "fat" that paints a semi-pleasant picture of a joyful, happy person. (Perhaps this is because some of my favorite relatives and friends are fat and they are so much fun to be around.)  But the word "obese" just gives an instant mental picture of harshness and disgust.

In the last several months, Ray and I have both been trying to diet.  Some of you may not know, but there is a cutoff limit to how high your Body Mass Index or fat level can be in order to receive a heart transplant.  Because of the possibility that I may one day have to have a transplant, and because it is easier on my heart to not have to support my weight, we are trying to shed the pounds.

So far, Ray has lost 24 pounds whereas I have only lost FOUR. LOL!!  I know that men lose weight faster than women and that we can't compare ourselves to them.  But it is difficult.  I try not to make excuses for myself and just use my disappointment to fuel the flames of going to the gym and eating less.  We do pretty good with our diet and try to get a good amount of exercise in.  However, there are days when I am just so tired I can't think of going to the gym.  And I am certain that my low blood pressure and heart failure meds play into my metabolism being slow.  So, I have decided instead of being discouraged or disheartened by my "obeseness" I will try to be positive and remember that I have a lot of people I love and want to spend time with and I'm pretty sure they don't care if I'm a few pounds heavier than I should be.  As my good friend Paul says, "Thin is in but fat is where it's at!"

Prayer and Healing

All through my childhood, my parents had this picture hanging in our kitchen:

I remember as a child thinking how old and plain this picture looked; clearly the message was lost on me.  Thankfully I had parents who brought me up in the church and taught me how to pray.  My mom often reminded me in the most difficult times, when my faith was being tested, that God would always hear us when we prayed.

Ever heard the phrase, "A moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips?"  A prayer can be said in a matter of minutes and can have lasting effects on our life.  A simple prayer can change our attitude, our minds, and can put us on the pathway to healing not only our minds and bodies, but our world as well.  And my heart is living proof that He still answers prayers (and we sent up a lot of them).

While I was sick, I remember hearing someone say that we often turn to God and ask for something and then when He doesn't answer, we begin to really beg.  After He still doesn't answer, we finally begin to really seek Him and plead for an answer.  Sometimes I think God brings us to our knees kicking and screaming.  But I am so glad when I finally reach His feet.  And although we often don't understand His answers, I am so thankful that He always does what is best for us when we seek Him with all our hearts.

My life has changed so much since my illness.  Like this painting, I feel like I have grown older and gained maturity (whether I wanted to or not).  I also feel like Ray and I have simplified our life.  Much like this painting, I feel like we are trying to get back to basics.  Before the heart failure, we were ALWAYS on the go.  I am sure that most of you pack way more into your day than you should. We run ourselves ragged.  But because my body doesn't allow me to live at such a fast pace anymore, we slowed down.  Know what I found?  I LOVE life!  There are so many things in life that bring me joy that I wasn't really enjoying because I was always in a hurry.

So each day I tell myself to slow down a little and pray.  Pray for peace, pray for healing, pray for strength, pray for the courage to overcome injustice, pray for resolve, pray for family and friends, pray for those in need, pray for our Country and those serving it, pray.  Pray to God with all your heart and soul, then gather up your might to meet the challenges that lie ahead.

Prayer changes us.  It awakens us.  Our eyes begin to notice beauty where we never noticed it before. Our hearts begin to feel compassion we never knew we had.  Our priorities shift.  As we talk to God, we receive the encouragement to live up to the potential inside us.  Soon we start to see beyond ourselves into the world that is waiting for our help.

I believe God is listening. And I believe God answers us. God’s answer to our prayers may be very different from the answer we were searching for; God’s reply might come as the strength to fight on. It may come as the courage to face what we have been fearing.  God’s answer may be the ability to accept what we have been denying.  Or it may appear as hope in the face of despair.  God is neither distant nor deaf.  We are not alone.  God is present in our lives.  When we stop bargaining with God and start opening up our souls, we will find that He is waiting patiently with open arms to teach us how to be a little more like Him.  Blessings to you.