Miracles

Last night I was up for a few hours (lately I have developed insomnia). As I was laying there, I began thinking of all the times that God has watched over my physical health.

I was born in the blizzard of 78. When I came into the world, I caught some kind of gastrointestinal disease. I went down to under 3 pounds. The doctors told my parents that I was taking up room in the hospital for babies that had more hope than me. They told my parents that even if I made it, I wouldn't live longer than a few years and I would be severely retarded. Thanks to the love and faith of my parents, they moved me to another hospital. Seven months later, I went home a healthy happy baby. I can't imagine what those seven months were like for my parents, but I am so proud of their love and faith. God gave us a miracle.

A few months after we found out about the heart failure, I started throwing up constantly and got the restless legs. When I went to the hospital, they had no real reason to run an echocardiagram, but the doctor thought it would be a good idea (I am sure at God's leading). The test found a blood clot in my heart. God is so good and was definitely watching over me.

A few weeks later I had a stroke. This was an extremely scary time for Ray and my parents. But because God had watched over me in finding the clot, the blood thinners they put me on kept me from having any residual damage from the stroke.

God is watching over every facet of our lives and I believe He has me right in the place He wants me. His word says that He has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. And I am fully expecting him to touch my body and heal me completely... after all, He has already watched over me in so many instances.

Still Goin Strong

"Life is hard, but God is good." That was the topic of the sermon on Sunday, and it is so true. Things have been going pretty well lately. My legs are still doing okay, my stomach is only upset every now and then, and I am able to get out of the house a little each day. Tomorrow I go to the Heart Failure Clinic and I am hoping that they will up the dosage of my heart medicine since I seem to be doing so well (haven't been in the hospital for almost 3 weeks). :-)

Another story God has been using to touch my life lately is Peter walking on water. He saw Jesus walking on water and God told him to step out of the boat. On faith, Peter began walking on water. But, the second Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink. This has been exactly how my faith is lately as well. When I take one day at a time and stay focused on God and His love for me and His ability and promise to heal, I can walk on water. But the minute I take my focus off of him and begin thinking about all the complications, possible side effects, possible outcomes, etc., I begin to sink. It is helping me to trust God one day at a time and to be thankful for each second I have with those I love.

Thanks Be To God

It has been a wonderful week in the Justice household. Each day I am feeling just a little better. On Monday I was able to go get my hair cut and to lunch with my family. Tuesday we went to the zoo for a few hours (see pic). Yesterday my cousin came to visit and today my friend Annie and her beautiful little guy came for a while. It has been such a blessing to finally feel a little better. I am sleeping pretty well at night and am able to function most of the day.

Yesterday I went to the Heart Failure Clinic because I still have quite a bit of swelling. They gave me some IV Lasix and I took some in pill form as well. I lost 2 pounds of fluid yesterday and feel much better today. I am still swollen, but hopefully if I keep my feet up, I'll be able to shed a little more. :-)

Many of you have been asking how Ray is doing. He would appreciate hearing your thoughts and talking to you personally, but he is doing much better as well. He is also now sleeping through the night and relaxing a little more. His new job has been a true blessing from God.

Every day I have been thanking God for allowing us to have a better week. Please keep praying, I believe God answers all prayers!

Back Again

So sorry that I have not been able to update the blog in a while. To be honest, the last few weeks have really been a nightmare. My restless legs have kept me from getting more than about 3 hours of sleep a night and they are crazy painful. On top of the tiredness, my stomach is upset all the time. They gave me medicine for my nausea, but it hurts my legs. A few weeks ago, they told me to take 400 mg of Ibuprofen every 4 hours. This helped at first... however, last weekend the Ibuprofen made me retain a bunch of fluid, which made it difficult to breathe and I was vomitting so much that my cardiologist asked me to go back to the hospital on Monday. While at the hospital, they told me the Ibuprofen had damaged my kidneys; however, praise God that He made our bodies so that we repair our organs. By the time I left the hospital, the kidney specialist told me my kidneys were already returning to normal, but no more Ibuprofen. The emergency room gave me a shot of Dilaudid (stronger than morphine)... since I don't take any medication very well, you can imagine what that did to me. LOL! But the nice thing is that it made me sleep for hours.

Anyway, we started a new drug for my legs (Mirapex). It didn't seem to work real well the first night, so I saw a neurologist at the hospital. He upped the dosage and they let me come home from the hospital yesterday. When I went to leave, I was crazy sick to my stomach. By the time I got home, I threw up all night. My temperature was up and I felt awful. But I was finally able to keep some of my medication down last night before I went to bed. I was actually blessed with a good night's sleep last night. It's my first one in weeks. I am a different person today! I can't tell you how hard it is to function when you get no sleep and are in so much pain.

Part of the reason I haven't posted in a while is because it is hard to admit how tough things really are. It has really taken a toll on me and my family. My husband, Mom, Dad, and family have been amazing through this, but they are in so much pain as well. However, I know God has a reason for all of this... Every time I get most discouraged, the Lord keeps bringing the story of Joseph to my mind. Joseph was thrown in a well for 24 hours, not knowing whether he would live or die. Then he was sold to gypsies. Then he spent years in prison before God delivered Joseph into a place of influence. I know God is reminding me that although some times I feel my body is a prison, that God has a plan that He is working.

One other thing God keeps reminding me is that His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in weakness. Last night Ray and I were just praying and telling God that we didn't think we could take another rough night but that we want to be faithful to Him. God heard our cry and gave us our first good night. God is good. All the time.

Answers to Prayers

Thank you all for your prayers. I know that God hears us when we call out to him. And in His faithfulness, God has provided me some relief from my restless legs last night. Many of you told me that you had been praying, my Dad's church had a huge prayer meeting, my older sister reassured me of her prayers, and last night before Mom left, Ray, Mom and I had an awesome time of prayer. I know God honors and answers our cries. He is teaching us so much through this very difficult time. I never understood how much pain was in the world and how much we all need love and support. I am hoping and praying that God will give me the opportunity in the future to really minister to those in pain.

So, I started an Ibuprofen regimen yesterday. It is quite a bit of Ibuprofen, but I had no problems with my restless legs or my stomach yesterday or last night. I know the medicine is hard on my stomach, but it is so much better for my heart (and sanity) if I can sleep at night. :-)

My Mom and husband have been amazing through everything. Ray stays up with me every night and comforts me every time I cry. His love for me has just spoken to me about how God must love us. And my Mom is such a strength and comfort to me. Yesterday she took me out for a drive to get me out of the house. She showed me where she grew up and just drove me around for a few hours. Some how she just knew I needed a little break. She is wonderful.

Thanks to all of your for your thoughts and prayers. Also, a special apology to those of you that have called and have not received a call back. These last few weeks have been absolutely horrible for me and I have not felt up to doing anything. Please be patient with me as we are recovering, it has been tough. Thank you for being so thoughtful and loving.

Sorry It Has Been So Long

Sorry that it has been awhile since I have updated the blog. To be honest, the last few weeks have been so hard and painful for me, that I was afraid to really say that on the blog. But some friends of mine reminded me that the advantage to telling my loved ones that I am having hard times, is that they will pray extra hard for me.

God has been reminding me of the verse, "And we know that all things work together for God's glory." (Romans 8:28). Ray and I are trying desperately to have a peace about everything and to know that God is in control.

These last few weeks have been really tough, especially at night time. I have developed severe restless legs every night (and some days as well). This has afforded me about 3 hours of sleep for the last several nights. Plus, my stomach has been so nauseous. I have tried so hard to keep myself from throwing up because I don't want to end up in the hospital again. I have some medicine for my stomach, but it makes my legs worse. So, it's a vicious cycle.

I am also sorry to any of you who have called or wanted to stop by lately. Truly this has been a really rough few weeks and I have been barely able to take company. With little to no sleep and lots of pain, I have been just trying to keep my mind focused and wait out the storm.

Again, I know God has a reason for everything in life. It is very hard to accept some times, but when you know Him and know how He has taken care of you before, you can rest in His love and know this is just a season. Please pray extra hard for Ray and I though, we are really having a hard time with the pain. Lots of love!

Much To Do About Nothing

Well, since getting out of the hospital last Thursday, each day has allowed me to grow a little stronger. I have been feeling relatively well again and have been able to get up and around a little easier.

This morning at the cardiologist, they basically said that since I have been in and out of the hospital so much in the last month and that I have not been able to get stable, they want to wait another 3 weeks before they make any decisions. They sounded like they are going to try to take me back up on the medicine in a few weeks if I can remain stable. They are still very hopeful that the medicine will help the heart. So, we have scheduled another appt with the cardiologist on June 14 and will just have to sit tight until then. :-)

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. I was at the Post Office where my Mom works yesterday and I was so amazed that there were people there that hardly knew me, but they were praying expecting God to do great things. I also know that God answers our prayers and am so grateful for the many prayers that my family and friends have been sending up for me. God has truly blessed me with such wonderful support. Thank you!