This is an excerpt from a book that my sister Lesley gave me that really touched my heart:
EXPECT TRIALS TO MULTIPLY
God does not put heavy burdens on weak shoulders. God educates and tests our faith by trials that increase in proportion to our faith. God expects us to do adult work and to endure adult afflictions only after we have reached a mature status in Christ Jesus. Therefore, expect your trials to multiply as you proceed toward heaven.
Do not think that as you grow in grace your path will become smoother and the sky calmer and clearer. Quite the contrary. As God gives you greater skill as a soldier of the cross, He will send you on more difficult missions. As He more fully equips your ship to sail in storms, He will send you on longer voyages to more boisterous seas, so that you may honor Him and increase in holy confidence.
You would think that in Abraham's old age - after he had come to the land of Beulah, after the birth of Isaac, and especially after the expulsion of Ishmael - he would have had a time of rest. But "it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham." (Gen 22:1) Let Abraham's story warn us to never plan on a rest from trials this side of the grave.
The trumpet still plays the notes of war. You cannot sit down and put the victory wreath on your head. You do not have a crown. You still must wear the helmet and carry the sword. You must watch, pray, and fight. Expect your last battle to be the most difficult, for the enemy's fiercest charge is reserved for the end of the day.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Ray's Turn
Well, as you know, yesterday was a Heart Failure Clinic day. Unfortunately, my office sent me to a training, so Mom very generously took Missy in my place. Last night, Missy took a pre-dinner nap, and then we tried laying down upstairs, but couldn't quite get comfortable. So, we made the trek back down and I bunked on the couch while Missy slept nearly 10 hours in the recliner.
When we came downstairs last night, Missy's heart wasn't slowing like it should have. One of Missy's extended relatives had heard about her condition and had sent a prayer cloth (her church had prayed for healing over the cloth and sent it to Missy); as soon as Missy put the cloth on her chest, her heart rate slowed.
God has certainly been a part of this process, but His presence was very real last night. As a worried husband, I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who has brought food, visited, and sat with Missy while I've been establishing myself in a new job. My manager as well as my SVP of HR have been incredibly supportive throughout this time, even though I just finished my fourth week of work today. In fact, I was able to work from home today to help monitor Missy after her dosage increase. Again, I can't help but thank God that He put me in the right job at the right time.
Stay tuned for more updates!! And, again, thanks for your prayers, love, and support.
When we came downstairs last night, Missy's heart wasn't slowing like it should have. One of Missy's extended relatives had heard about her condition and had sent a prayer cloth (her church had prayed for healing over the cloth and sent it to Missy); as soon as Missy put the cloth on her chest, her heart rate slowed.
God has certainly been a part of this process, but His presence was very real last night. As a worried husband, I cannot say thank you enough to everyone who has brought food, visited, and sat with Missy while I've been establishing myself in a new job. My manager as well as my SVP of HR have been incredibly supportive throughout this time, even though I just finished my fourth week of work today. In fact, I was able to work from home today to help monitor Missy after her dosage increase. Again, I can't help but thank God that He put me in the right job at the right time.
Stay tuned for more updates!! And, again, thanks for your prayers, love, and support.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Submitted by Missy's Mom
Today was our second trip to the heart failure clinic at Grant hospital. Everyone knew Missy's name by heart. She weighs in first and she has lost 10 pounds this past week--hooray for diruretics. Then they check her blood pressure, pulse and oxygen level in her blood. She was almost normal today, 105/69. Then they review her diet, they want her to eat more, but she wants to keep losing weight, so we'll see. Then they gave her a double dose of her beta blocker, which strengthens her heart and we waited an hour to see how she would do. She seemed to tolerate it okay. The clinic keeps a notebook of Missy's tests and other records. When we were alone I read most of it. Some of it was scary, but they think Missy is doing good and following what the doctor said. They even kept copies of the spreadsheet Ray made showing what she eats and how much is her salt intake for a day. They want to share it with other patients trying to regualte salt usage.
We've been home for a few hours now and she is feeling the effects of the medication. She tried to get up and was so out of breath after only a few steps that it took a while to get her breathing calmed down. Now she is resting.
I cannot express how much I appreciate all the attention, cards, flowers and calls you have lavished on her. Every one means a brighter day for her and she loves the company the most--although the meals have been such a help. Thank you all so much, and keep praying, expecting that miracle only He can give.
Mom
We've been home for a few hours now and she is feeling the effects of the medication. She tried to get up and was so out of breath after only a few steps that it took a while to get her breathing calmed down. Now she is resting.
I cannot express how much I appreciate all the attention, cards, flowers and calls you have lavished on her. Every one means a brighter day for her and she loves the company the most--although the meals have been such a help. Thank you all so much, and keep praying, expecting that miracle only He can give.
Mom
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wet Wednesday
It's true what they say about having good days and bad days. I have had very little pain for the last week, which has been a true blessing. Plus I have had a lot of quiet time to relax and meditate and read (yes, I can do that). :-)
Today has been a little tough. Even getting up has made my heart race today. I'm a little disappointed because I had worked up to being able to make it around the block and I feel a little set back today. But I know in these times will be when I need to focus my thoughts on God's grace and strength.
I had a beautiful conversation with one of my sisters today. She reminded me of how exciting life can be (she has five little ones at home) and to be patient with slow recoveries.
One of the cards that a dear one sent me had this verse, which happens to be Ray's favorite:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Today has been a little tough. Even getting up has made my heart race today. I'm a little disappointed because I had worked up to being able to make it around the block and I feel a little set back today. But I know in these times will be when I need to focus my thoughts on God's grace and strength.
I had a beautiful conversation with one of my sisters today. She reminded me of how exciting life can be (she has five little ones at home) and to be patient with slow recoveries.
One of the cards that a dear one sent me had this verse, which happens to be Ray's favorite:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Quiet Meditation
Today was the first day where I spent the morning alone in quiet meditation. Someone sent me a beautiful reading on the healing power of God's word. As I sat listening to some inspiring music (have I mentioned how much I desparately miss singing to Ray's piano music) thoughts of memories of all the people who have touched me deeply in my life flooded my soul. My husband has been so strong through this ordeal; although he hides in the kitchen most evenings trying to clean and prepare for the new "low sodium" diet. Btw, he made delicious turkey burgers tonight, compliments of my Uncle Frank.
My Mom has been by my side every step of this ordeal and my Dad has taken the time to come down and stay with me (although he's home with a nasty cold now). My younger sister and her husband have also spent their evenings over here lifting my spirits. They are so strong. My brother and next oldest sister have been coming on a regular basis. In fact, my sister and her girls took me to the Science Museum this weekend. It was so uplifting to be out of the house. And my sister has a way of making everyone feel so uplifted without saying a word.
My other sister, aunt and uncles, other family and friends have been to visit. I can't tell you how much that encourages the heart.
Today, my Great Aunt brought over a friend who had gone through exactly what I am facing 10 years ago. The doctors also told her that she would have a very short life, but she has beat the odds and is actually out of heart failure now. :-)
I go to the Heart Failure Clinic again on Thursday (I know I know, why would they call it that?). They are going to double my medications. I am a little apprehensive and have heard it will be tough for a few days afterwards, but I want to do everything possible to help my heart.
Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, they are so comforting!
My Mom has been by my side every step of this ordeal and my Dad has taken the time to come down and stay with me (although he's home with a nasty cold now). My younger sister and her husband have also spent their evenings over here lifting my spirits. They are so strong. My brother and next oldest sister have been coming on a regular basis. In fact, my sister and her girls took me to the Science Museum this weekend. It was so uplifting to be out of the house. And my sister has a way of making everyone feel so uplifted without saying a word.
My other sister, aunt and uncles, other family and friends have been to visit. I can't tell you how much that encourages the heart.
Today, my Great Aunt brought over a friend who had gone through exactly what I am facing 10 years ago. The doctors also told her that she would have a very short life, but she has beat the odds and is actually out of heart failure now. :-)
I go to the Heart Failure Clinic again on Thursday (I know I know, why would they call it that?). They are going to double my medications. I am a little apprehensive and have heard it will be tough for a few days afterwards, but I want to do everything possible to help my heart.
Again, thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, they are so comforting!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Initial Diagnosis
Every story has a beginning... At the end of January 2009, my husband and I decided to take a cruise to celebrate my new job opportunity. While we were on the cruise, I noticed I couldn’t catch my breath when we would climb the steps onboard the ship. Other than that, we had a wonderful cruise and I have beautiful memories of the time we had together.
When I returned, I started my new job. My new co-workers were fabulous and the atmosphere was wonderful. It was extremely challenging and I was striving so hard to rise to the occasion.
My husband also got a new job opportunity, for which we had been praying for quite some time. God is so good.
I got a head cold and some ick in my chest. I thought I got over it but was still feeling terrible. When Ray and I would walk at night, I started getting winded after just a few blocks. It got worse and worse until I couldn’t walk the few blocks into my office in the morning without stopping to catch my breath. Then a pain started in my chest, which was just unbearable when I would walk. I went to the doctor and she scheduled me for a chest xray, some blood work, and a stress test (on the off-chance it was my heart).
When I went for the stress test on Monday 3/9/09, the cardiologist came in and told me I was in heart failure. A whirlwind began that moment as they told us all the dos and don’ts and what to expect with heart failure.
In the beginning, I was sure God had a plan and reason for bringing this into our lives. I knew He was trying to get our attention and to draw us to Him. I knew He wanted to use this to work His work, even though it caused so much pain.
My family and friends were so encouraging and I loved the time I got to spend with everyone. I wish it wasn’t so hard on everyone, and I pray for strength for Ray, my Mom and Dad, my beautiful sisters, brother, and friends all the time.
We went back to the Heart Failure Clinic on Tuesday 3/17/09. They told me that heart failure was considered when your heart functions less than 40%... mine was at 15%. Best case scenario would be that my heart would get back up to 30%, which was still heart failure. She said that once hearts are damaged, it is next to impossible to get them truly healthy. Therefore, she thought certain I would need a pacemaker but was also very insistent about the need for a heart transplant.
I can't express to my family, friends, and co-workers how wonderful and encouraging they have been. I have felt surrounded in love and support from the very beginning. Thank you to each of you, you have made my heart stronger.
When I returned, I started my new job. My new co-workers were fabulous and the atmosphere was wonderful. It was extremely challenging and I was striving so hard to rise to the occasion.
My husband also got a new job opportunity, for which we had been praying for quite some time. God is so good.
I got a head cold and some ick in my chest. I thought I got over it but was still feeling terrible. When Ray and I would walk at night, I started getting winded after just a few blocks. It got worse and worse until I couldn’t walk the few blocks into my office in the morning without stopping to catch my breath. Then a pain started in my chest, which was just unbearable when I would walk. I went to the doctor and she scheduled me for a chest xray, some blood work, and a stress test (on the off-chance it was my heart).
When I went for the stress test on Monday 3/9/09, the cardiologist came in and told me I was in heart failure. A whirlwind began that moment as they told us all the dos and don’ts and what to expect with heart failure.
In the beginning, I was sure God had a plan and reason for bringing this into our lives. I knew He was trying to get our attention and to draw us to Him. I knew He wanted to use this to work His work, even though it caused so much pain.
My family and friends were so encouraging and I loved the time I got to spend with everyone. I wish it wasn’t so hard on everyone, and I pray for strength for Ray, my Mom and Dad, my beautiful sisters, brother, and friends all the time.
We went back to the Heart Failure Clinic on Tuesday 3/17/09. They told me that heart failure was considered when your heart functions less than 40%... mine was at 15%. Best case scenario would be that my heart would get back up to 30%, which was still heart failure. She said that once hearts are damaged, it is next to impossible to get them truly healthy. Therefore, she thought certain I would need a pacemaker but was also very insistent about the need for a heart transplant.
I can't express to my family, friends, and co-workers how wonderful and encouraging they have been. I have felt surrounded in love and support from the very beginning. Thank you to each of you, you have made my heart stronger.
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