Sorry it has taken a while to post a blog entry... life has been flying by since I arrived home on Thanksgiving night. The holiday was so wonderful (and the food was good too). :-) We were able to surprise my family by making it just after dinner. We didn't follow the same traditions as usual (sorry Lulu) but it was still like a dream to spend the time with loved ones.
I didn't get a chance to blog about some special things that happened while I was in the hospital. One of my PCAs was such a blessing to me and I am sure that God placed us together so that we might kindle a friendship. She has a heart of gold and was sharing how my situation had taught her to be grateful for what she has. It's funny because God had laid that on my heart while I was there as well... to look at the many blessings He has put in my life and not get too discouraged by the obstacles. Thanks Omega, and I am really looking forward to furthering our friendship.
I had an appointment with the transplant doctor yesterday. They said that they are wanting to move up the transplant date because of all the complications I have been having. There are only a few more tests that I need to be able to get on the list. Once I am listed, I will be at the top of the list for 30 days. Then, if I don't get a heart, I will be moved down a level and the wait may be a little longer.
I am scheduled for a right heart catheritization on Wednesday. Please keep this test in your prayers. If all goes well and my heart and lung pressures are down, they are anticipating having me on the list by the end of the holidays. This is both scary and exciting to me at the same time. I have been reading in the book of James where God keeps reminding me that life is short no matter how long you live and that what really matters is that we seek His will and serve Him with the time He gives us. As you can imagine, it is very difficult to face a terminal illness head on and hold to your faith that God has a plan, but that is what I strive to do one day at a time. My older sister, Nikki, once told me that some times when we look into the future, we think we don't have the strength or grace to get through what lies ahead. But she told me that God had revealed to her that He gives us strength and grace as we need it. So, although I may not have the strength and grace for the transplant now, I know in faith that He will supply it for me when the time comes. His timing is always perfect. So, although I feel it is very soon and I was just beginning to enjoy the time of fun and joy with my loved ones, I know His timing is right.
Isn't so wonderful to have wise loved ones around? Not just my sisters who are wonderful, my brother who has really touched my heart lately, a husband who has journeyed with me through this, a father who moved his life here to help me, in-laws (who bring me lots of love and wonderful food), friends who have supported me, a church and pastor who have comforted me, but today, when I was feeling a little apprehensive and scared, my mother sent me the most beautiful Christmas topiary to remind me not only of her love for me, but of His perfect timing. It's amazing the way the Lord seems to hug me when I need it most. Thank you to Mom and everyone reading this who has prayed for me, sent cards, phone calls, visits, and especially the delicious food!! :-) You are such a blessing.
About Me
In March 2009 I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy - Heart Failure. Within two months, it progressed to end-stage. In August 2009 I had a Left Ventricular Assist Device (LVAD) implanted to help my heart pump blood. Then in December I was placed on the heart transplant list. On January 11, 2010 a heart became available for me and I was taken to the operating room. While on the table, the surgeons found that my own heart had began to heal. I didn't get that transplant and subsequently had my LVAD removed in September 2010. Today, I have a new appreciation for life and am learning to take each day one step at a time.
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