Testing Date Set for August 2

Last week we were informed that my surgeons would like to move up the LVAD extraction testing to August 2. What this means is that on Aug 2 I will have another ultrasound (echo) of my heart while my pump is turned off to see how the heart is functioning. Then I will have a stress test where I am pushed to my limit on a treadmill to see how the heart functions with my pump off.

I cannot express to you what a load this news has been. If the testing goes well, I have open-heart surgery again to have the pump removed. If it doesn't go well, I go back on the transplant list awaiting open-heart surgery again. I guess I always knew when the pump went in that it would have to come out... but having been through this horrible surgery once, it is so difficult to think of doing it again. (Not to mention that I have been reading a book where the man had a defibrillator and three times in a row it fired during his stress test. I have not yet experienced my defibrillator firing, but I know it won't be pleasant!)

Each of you that have prayed for me should know the power of prayer and share in the miracle that your prayers brought about the initial healing of my heart. I am begging you now to please continue your prayers to allow the complete healing of my heart and the removal of my pump. I would also ask that you pray for strength for me also. At this time, I just don't know if I have the strength or courage to go through this surgery again; however, throughout this illness God has taught me that it is not by my own strength or might, but by His. (And usually He has to remind me of that on a daily basis.)

The past few weeks (and especially few days) have been extremely hard on me emotionally. With the weather so hot and not being allowed to drive, I have basically been somewhat couped up. It is difficult not to get angry about being sick, or sad about having my career taken away, or lonely that we weren't able to have kids, or just tired of taking lots of medications that make me tired and irritable all the time. But it is in these moments that I try to stop and remind myself of all the blessings I have received instead. These last six months with my family and friends have been more than worth it to me to have endured such a difficult surgery... and it gives me the hope to face another one.

Please pray for the testing on August 2.