Home Sweet Home

So sorry that I have not posted sooner. WE ARE HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!

The surgery was a lot more difficult than I remembered it. I'm thankful for minds that block that out for us. This past week and a half has been fraught with pain and difficulties; however, healing has been swift and all of my doctors are very pleased with my numbers and results. No complications to the surgery to have my pump removed. I am now sitting here HeartMate free!

The return home yesterday was much easier than I was anticipating. And I was able to get a good night's sleep with the help of some pain pills and SIX pillows. LOL! Ray also got his first full night of sleep in two weeks. (He was sleeping in a recliner at the hospital... well, that is when there wasn't someone in the room taking blood, measuring blood pressure, giving shots, etc.)

Although this is a hard time for me, I have been constantly reminded about how great my family and friends are. Thank you to everyone for your prayers, visits, emails, flowers, cards, and phone calls. We are so very blessed. And thank you to those who have brought and are bringing meals, that is truly such a blessing. Thank you for being a part of this trial with us.

More to come later when I am feeling a bit better. I have lots of good hospital stories. I cannot wait to post a picture of flowers that my niece made for me out of construction paper because she thought I couldn't have real flowers. They were the envy of the hospital. She is so sweet. Till then, "Good night and big balls."

2 Days Post-Op (from Ray)

First, THANK YOU for the kind words, thoughts and prayers for Melissa over the last few days! We couldn't have made it through this time without them! Thanks for the waiting room goodies, too, Mom, Angie, Annie and Tim!

Well, today's day 2 post-op, and things are moving right along. I'm not sure what I've posted and what I haven't, so forgive me if this is all recap. The surgery went very smoothly, no bi-pass machine was necessary, and only 2 units of blood were given. About 9 hours after she returned to her room, she was extubated (about 10:00pm Wednesday), after which there was an issue with too much carbon dioxide in her blood. So, her nurse Tiffany and I had to keep her awake for a while. Anyone who's been around Missy when she's falling asleep knows that she can be pretty funny even without pain medicine; long story short, I got her to sing us the theme song from the Gene Wilder "Willy Wonka" and she has no memory of it at all! :-) The things we do to stay entertained!

The next morning, she was up sitting in her chair for the doctor's rounds. They said (and continue to say) that her readouts are very good (things such as cardiac output, PA pressure and CV pressure as well as organ function data). Later in the morning, she was given a PCA pump with a different pain medicine, which makes her sleep a lot. So, the rest of the day was spent napping and recuperating further.

This morning, she was up in her chair for breakfast (her appetite is slowly beginning to return). Throughout the day today, her various tubes will be pulled, starting with her chest tubes, then the Swan catheter, and finally the foley. She's started on her ARB (which she's on instead of an ACE) and will re-start Coreg later this morning. In a few hours, all of her IVs will be removed except for the PCA and a maintenance line. She's also going to be taking her first walk later today.

She's still not quite ready for extended visitors, so keep an eye out for another guest post from yours truly!

And They're Off (guest post from Ray)

So after some frantic scrambling (OSU told us the wrong surgery date, so we were a day behind), Missy's LVAD explantation is officially under way. She was wheeled in at 7:00am this morning after a less than restful night's rest. Keep an eye on this post, as I'll re-comment here rather than make new posts for each update.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!

Impending Surgery

Well, the surgery date is drawing near... Thursday morning at 6. Yes, that's early, but hey, I don't get to pick the time. :-) Although I am so excited to have the heart pump removed, I am not looking forward to the surgery. However, Ray and I drove out to Mt Vernon last night (where we met and went to college). We spent some wonderful time together praying for peace in the huge chapel. It was amazing, no one there but Ray and I and God. We laughed, we cried, and we prayed for strength and peace. We cannot say thank you enough to everyone who has showered us in prayers. So, as the day is drawing near we are trying to do what we can to be ready.

We had a wonderful weekend with friends and family preparing to welcome my newest nephew into the world. They baby shower for my little sister's firstborn was so fun. It was at a park and the weather was beautiful, except for the crazy wind that kept blowing everything over. LOL! But everyone made the best of it. It was an amazing weekend and so distracting for me to think of her all weekend instead of this surgery. Ray and I are trying to do ANYTHING we can to distract ourselves. LOL!

I have found some comfort in knowing that one of my doctors is a believer and that he will be in the operating room with me. Although I have not been too distracted by the "what ifs" that can happen during such an intense surgery, I do have my share of fears that I am praying God will give me the strength to overcome.

Sorry to post a long one today, but there are a few things I have been wanting to share out here. First, is what an incredible family I have. As you can imagine, Ray has gone through every step of my illness with me. In the beginning I had tons of guilt that I was forcing Ray to take the life of a caretaker of a critically ill patient instead of the life of a young married couple. One day, he came home and told me that he found his purpose in life in taking care of me and that it made him into a person that he was proud to be. I am also so proud of the level of growth and maturity he has gained through this time. I am sure God handpicked us for each other.

Also, my mom, dad, brother (Tim), and sisters (Amy, Nikki, Lesley, Janie) have been amazing throughout this time. Their wisdom, strength, and self-sacrifice have been inspiring me to be tougher through the pain. And to remember that I am affecting others' lives.

Although many of my friends and extended family have been amazingly supportive throughout my illness, two of my friends have become real soul mates. Annie has visited regularly, cooked meals, made phone calls, helped us build a deck, and assisted me in many of my endeavors lately. But more than that, she has always stood behind me reminding me of who I was, and who I can be again. Often times I doubt that I still have the character traits that I used to before the illness, but she often reminds me that I can still be that person, only better. Thanks for all you do.

And I would be remiss not to end this post telling everyone about Angie. When I got home from the hospital in January, I prayed for a companion while Ray was at work all day. Angie was my answer to prayer. She now walks with me EVERY afternoon. I know she is a huge reason I have been so faithful in my exercises and diet. She is a wonderful walking buddy (because she can talk about anything in the world and never runs out of things to discuss. So, when I am too tired to talk, she will carry the conversation. That is a blessing when you are tired and it makes our walks go by so quickly.). Angie also picks me up each week and takes me to the hospital for a heart pump and transplant support group. She has joined me in special visits and meals for the patients there. She has a real heart to nurture and encourage and I don't think anyone could be more likable than her. She has become a very dear friend.

There is a verse my sister Lesley shared with me years ago that I am trying to meditate on, as this surgery has become more of a psychological battle than my last ones. "He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast on Him."