Caretaker's Shield

This morning I am preparing to go on vacation with my mom and sisters. Although I can't tell you how thankful I am for the memories we will create in this precious time together, I am also mourning leaving Ray for over a week. It hit me by surprise how much comfort and security I have from being under his care and how nervous I am to leave.

Caretakers do so much that we don't realize. And because Ray worries enough for the both of us, it frees me to live a little more carefree. He double checks everything, always ensures I have taken my pills, is constantly monitoring my diet and exercise, but most of all he always has a watchful eye on how I am feeling. When I get down, he makes me laugh. It is comforting knowing he is always there.

So, as I said goodbye to him this morning I was reminded of how much more my heavenly Father watches over me; orchestrating my every need and helping me to grow, even when it seems the pain will never end.

So, for those of us that have caretakers - THANK YOU for all you do. You are the true heroes in my book. Because without you, the fight would be so difficult. So, pamper yourselves this week. Because your happiness means so much to us.

Stress Management

As part of my cardiac rehab, I attend a short class each week. The last two weeks have been on stress management and relaxation.

As I reflect on stress in my life, I have been amazed to realize that before my heart failure, I had an extreme amount of stress; however, since my heart failure, Ray and I have slowed our life's pace and have very little stress. What I find interesting is that we are just as fulfilled now as we were when we had a million commitments and activities.

After further thought, it occurred to me that perhaps my co-workers, my family, my friends, my fellow heart disease sufferers, doctors, nurses, pastors, etc. may benefit from a little "stress break" as well. So here are a few lessons learned on how to adjust your thinking and help form a healthier heart:

• CHANGE YOUR THINKING
• IDENTIFY DISTORTIONS -
• all or nothing thinking (if the situation is not perfect, it is a failure),
• overgeneralization (a single negative event is a pattern of defeat),
• mental filter (dwell on a single negative detail),
• disqualifying the positive (don't count the positive),
• jumping to conclusions (no one does that right?),
• magnification or minimization,
• emotional reasoning (I feel it, therefore it must be true),
• should statements (also includes musts and ought tos),
• labeling and mislabeling (I'm a loser, he's a turd)
• personalization (see yourself as a cause when you were not primarily responsible)
• STRAIGHTFORWARD APPROACH - substitute a more positive and realistic thought.
• COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS - list the advantages and disadvantages of a negative feeling, thought, belief, or behavior.
• EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE - what are the facts? what does the data really show?
• SURVEY METHOD - do a survey to find out if your thoughts and attitudes line up with what other people think and fee.
• DOUBLE STANDARD - talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you might talk to a dear friend who was upset.
• ACCEPTANCE - instead of defending yourself against your own self-criticisms, find truth in them and accept them. Then try to change them.
• CLARIFY YOUR VALUES AND PRIORITIES
• You don't have to do everything you are asked to do
• Trim out time-fillers
• Make time for the things that matter most
• EXERCISE
• HAVE FUN/LEISURE/LEARN
• How did you have fun when you were a kid? Why not recreate?
• Too much work and no play make for a dismal attitude.
• Try new activities and get out of your normal routine.
• RELAX
• Any point in your day when you realize you are flying a million miles a minute, stop and take a deep, deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth (this includes when you are stuck in rush hour traffic)
• Take time to stretch your muscles throughout the day
• Turn off the radio, computer, tv and anything else that is noisy and soak in the quiet for at least 15 minutes a day to let yourself unwind and find your focus

Just thought some of these suggestions would do us all some good. Love and peace to you.

Heart Walk on August 27th

Every summer there seem to be quite a few walks to help raise awareness and money for different organizations. While I admire and am thankful for the work that several of these organizations do, I have decided that I would really like to help support the American Heart Association (AHA). The AHA is having a walk in downtown Columbus on August 27th in the Nationwide district. I would LOVE to have my family and friends walk with me and to help raise funds for this organization!

The AHA was extremely helpful to me when I first learned of my heart failure. The day after we found out about the heart failure, Ray threw out every piece of salt in our kitchen and bought the AHA cookbook. Over the past 2 years, we have mastered several excellent low-sodium recipes from this book. I also used the AHA website to do a lot of research on heart health. Also, I am sure that you notice the AHA seal of approval on many of the food products you buy.

One last thought about the AHA; heart failure is scary and it was difficult to work our way through the feelings of fear and terror; however, the AHA website helped remind us that we weren't alone in our struggle and that we could help lift each other up when we were feeling overwhelmed. Great organization! If you would like to join our team, go to the website and register or make a donation. It is very appreciated.

BTW, am feeling wonderful lately. Got the doctor to lower some of my meds, which has allowed my blood pressure to come up a little, which makes me feel a little less tired. YEAH! Am keeping busy with rehab, volunteering, church work, etc. and am really loving the summer (except that I start dripping sweat when I walk outside due to the 100% humidity and 90 degrees). Of course I have made time to spend at the pool with my mom and sisters as well. :-) Thanks for your love and support.