Christmas is Over Charlie Brown...

Sorry that I have been a little non-existent here on the blog for a while. Like so many this season we were busy with all the things we love - baking cookies with many nieces and nephews; eating; choir cantatas and parties; eating; family get togethers; shopping; eating; zoo lights; and did I mention eating?!?!

This season I have been so grateful for my family and friends. A few weeks before Christmas, my friends started confiding in me with their difficult situations. This may seem small, but it has been years since my loved ones have been able to lean on me. See, when you are sick everyone is afraid to add to your plate. And I am so thankful that I am now strong enough to help encourage them through tough times. So, for those of you that had a rough Christmas season, may God bless you in this new year.

Aren't you so happy for new beginnings? I have been thinking all week of all the things in my life that I would like to change. For example, this weekend Ray and my sister and I were playing a game and it asked us to share 3 things that we are really good at. In the past, that would've been easy for me. I was a leader at church, a good musician, very level headed and sensible, I tried to be an excellent manager at work, was a terrific communicator, etc. But more then just my health changed with the diagnosis of heart failure. I am not the person that I used to be before I was sick. Although I have regained a lot of my health, I cannot go back to being who I was. In addition, my mind was radically changed through all the surgeries and hospital time and I can no longer think or remember things the way I used to. I no longer know how to handle stress with ease. It is tough for me to concentrate on activities for too long. I am easily angered and annoyed. My lungs hurt when I try to play the trombone or sing. And I am no longer in charge or in control of anything in life.

On the flip side, I have learned to smile through the storm. Learned to depend solely on God's strength to carry me through the day. I have a deep appreciation for every moment with the people I love doing things I love to do. I am more caring, thoughtful, and encouraging to those facing hard times.

So, when you take the good with the bad, I am thankful for the growth I have had but frustrated that I feel a little unimportant or not as useful... Then this morning I was reading in Genesis when the Lord was talking about the earth being filled with violence and He was so angry that He wanted to destroy it - until He considered Noah, who was a "righteous man." And because of that one righteous man, God saved mankind. WOW!

So the rest of my day today will be spent thinking of ways that I can be more "righteous" and praying that somehow and in some way, God will find favor with me and hopefully be able to use me for His glory. Praise be to Him!